Privilege

First of all, my blog layout is absolutely wack, and I don't wanna talk about it. I've not been here in a hot minute and tinypic ruined my life.

Second, I've not really been on here much in the last year or so and a lot of my stories haven't been updated since long before then. I spent some time this morning (definitely not during a zoom meeting if that's what you're thinking) and man. I'm so embarrassed about the stuff I was writing. Microaggressions, slurs, horribly privileged writing was my jam and I'm completely mortified and angry that teenage me thought that what I was writing was okay. My partner reminded me that no one expects kids to have perspective, which I don't fully disagree with, but I'm just so disappointed with myself. I chose to speak over and for people who I shouldn't have been speaking over/for. I think a lot of us perhaps feel this way, but Tumblr really reinforced this idea that I, as a white teenage girl, could just kinda say what I wanted to without caring about the impact my words made. This, for the record, is not a statement to shift blame, Tumblr was the tool that teenage me used to lock myself into an echo-chamber that reinforced that idea of privilege.

For the record, I do think that it's very clear from my blogs where my awareness starts to kick in, but that should've been the moment I looked over my writing, reflected, and removed it to prevent further harm.

So, despite the fact that I don't think anyone is still reading my writing on here, or furthermore, I don't believe that anyone who was reading my writing on here is still around, I'd like to extend my apologies for the harm that I caused. I can't undo it, and I know I can't, but I can do better moving forward, and I will continue doing better.