Friends thoughts

man...... i love my friends but for some freaken reason i hate them! i don't know why and i don't know how, i always love my friends. It is all confusing to me, nothing i do seems right to me or to anyone and all my friends hate my, i use to be the gang leader because my friends actually did what ever i want to do, they were mainly copy cats, but now.... now they have changed a lot a seriously hated me. I mainly blame this girl called 'milly', she calls her self me and makes people called her self 'milly' before she crakes it, it is actually short for ameila and she only calls her self that is because she wants to be popular and the only way to be popular is to get a name is is punky so everyone would love her. I don't get her, i don't even change my name or crake it at people if the call me roxxi even if i like my name to be rox, my parents named me roxxi and i don't want to change it just for some crazy reason, you can loses those friends at the end so it really, really don't matter. I mainly turn to my friends for every thing because it is an old habbit, my parents use to fight a lot that i never really talk to them and i felt really, really sad when my parents died because the last time i spoke to my mum in person, was when we last had a fight and i tolded her i will never talk to her and i actually did that. When she died the pain went with her and the pain got worst every day of my life. Now, i mainly turn to my brother sky, when the whole world shut down, he is always with me, he helped me when my triplet brother died and my triplet sister also died, he never left my site and never fight. I would never trade the bond of brother and sister me and sky have for any thing, even to know who my real dad is, ( i have been actually wondering what is the answer for my whole life, my mum cheated on my step dad that she married and found her self pergnate with my step dad's best friend until we found out the months she was pergnate for and she wouldn't tell the truth), and also never trade any thing to say 'sorry' to my dear mother that is dead and for her to forgive me...... i miss her so much.