I've been depressed for a while now. And before any of you reading this, it's not just this teenage shit that you all go on about.
I wonder every single day how I'm going to go on and I wonder when it's all going to stop. I'm so so frustrated and angry with everything, I'm frustrated with feeling like this because I never imagined it could go on for so so long. Every single day I feel like I'm screaming at the top of my lungs on the inside.
I seem compleatly fine to everyone on the outside but I'm really really not. This is not an attention seeking thing, I'm not cutting my wrists where everyone can see just for them to ask me "Kim, whats wrong?"
I was thinking about the one I love the other day lying on my friends bedroom floor at six in the morning. I was just thinking about how much I love them...how I could sit there and count every single hair on their head, how I could just be content with just looking into their eyes, to just kiss every single part of their body, how I just feel so comfortable around them, how I would just be happy to sit next to them for hours on end not even speaking just sitting there with them and listening to them breath, to examine every part of them, to speak about anything and everything with them...
I can't believe I've let myself feel like this about someone. My chest hurts.
Him
October 30th, 2007 at 06:54am