i'm pissed.
i'm annoyed.
and i'm mad as hell!
there's so many things wrong!
where to begin, where to begin.
well starting with the guy i like. yeah, so he's got that girlfriend. and yeah, he's tried hooking up with me on more than one occasion. okay buddy, i got it. your girlfriend doesn't live here, but i'm the one person you do NOT wanna mess with! i'm so messed up (emotionally and physically), which he is aware of - but he continues anyway. i thought it was just the boy in him, but i think it's something else. well anyway, we chilled yesterday and he def. tryed hooking up with me/doing it anyway! so now i'm like, all messed up again.
and this friend of mine IMed me, asking me to go buy him a dutch. w.e, i was like no. so we were talking, and i made this joke and he blew up at me and now he hates me. and this guy and i, we've been friends for a while and i was actually thinking about getting his stupid dutch. but he's hurt me for the last time, i don't care anymore! hasta la vista, bye bye. i am not talking to him anymore, whether it be about hockey or metal or his STUPID DUTCHES, i don't care! this is the last time, the last time, the last time. it's been a year; and i'm done with his back and forth bull shit.
and my own best friend! she's too busy with other boys to not care about anything else. and she gets involved in this little fight between me and him, and she takes his side. and she starts telling me how i shouldn't do this that and the other thing. so i was like all right, screw you and thank you for ganging up on me when i didn't do anything and i already apologized to him. tons of times, i've stood up for her and if she was in this situation and i was in hers, i wouldn't have done what she did. i would've explained to him that it was only a joke or w.e. but no! not her, not at all. she's too busy making sure they stay friends to care at all about what's right and what's wrong.
ugh, and i tried calling the first person i mentioned, so i could talk to someone who wouldn't yell at me but he didn't answer. and i've called him twice today; since we were supposed to chill again.
but you know what, whatever! my mothers just gonna come home, yell at me - and the daily process of hating myself will continue!
-keeps bury me in black on repeat-
i don't care anymore.
just give us war-worn lipstick by the purifying flame.
November 7th, 2007 at 04:37am