••I Like Nirvana, It Doesnt Mean Id Shoot Myself••Rant TWO••

LEMONS

Right, this ones on LEMONS!

Lemons, the demon of every fruit bowl, a bright yellow stewie-head-shaped monster that if given the chance WILL kill you.

Yea, lemons are a close relation to the innocent cute little orange, but I view them as the freaky uncle of the family. The diabolical menace.

Fact 1: Lemons are yellow for a reason
Lemons believe that yellow is the colour you should see before death, it is like...their religion. They worship the color, they are not actual yellow. They just go through a yellow painting ritual every mourning. If you ever see a green or 'unripe' lemon, this means it is safe. One that has left the yellow religion and gone all hippie on their ass.
Fact 2: Lemons are a weapon of mass distruction
they can’t even spell it. They are an important ingredient in any nuclear bomb. Possibly deadlier than Valeria on drug. IM SERIOUS. When around a lemon you must wear protective gear.
FACT 3: Lemons aren’t called Lemons
No, although many fools or bitches believe a lemon is not actual called a lemon, It's a
L: Large
E: Evil
M: Monkey
O: Of
N: Neptune
Yes, Lemons are actually monkeys from outer space, the only good invention a lemon has ever invented is the monkey hat, which can be purchased from the tuck shop(FREE WITH WEDGES)
Fact 4: Lemons want to kill you
They have allianced with many other evil mutants, such as the Sexual Panda, Ray Toro's Hair and He who must not be named(no, not Voldemort u idiot, Pete Wentz)
The reason for this is still not very clear, but many believe it is because of the increasing rises in petrol prices that make the lemons very angry. They just can’t afford to run their lemon-mobiles on those prices, especially under the national lemon tax.
Fact 5: Lemons mean Business
ever in a bar and you see a lemon, that’s not good. They don’t like you; they will KILL you and eat you.
FACT 6: The only thing that can defeat a lemon is.....
Valeria. Russian. Spazzing.
Yo' Momma and... Last but not least, the most important ingredient to any lemons murder or execution
A SLIGHTLY DAMAGED FRISBEE.

RANT OUT