••I Like Nirvana, It Doesnt Mean Id Shoot Myself••Rant Three PETE WENTZ EDITION

Pete Wentz

Fact One: This man is possibly the most popular person that we all love to HATE. He’s fat, yet skinny, gay, yet straight, emo, yet completely normal. I don’t think it is possible to say that all the Pete wentz lovers out there (if any) can say with a straight face they would choose to go out with him ova a camel. There ain't much difference.

Fact Two: He's is a camel. He's a Porn Ninja, he's many things.
Big neck, hump on his back. All the signs of a desert roaming retarded creature. He is a ninja (trained to the highest level) when it comes to running around like a complete spazzo naked and humping fellow band members who are about to be sick. Although his so called 'talents' spread far and wide he is good at making sure everyone in the world knows he has no problem with them having a quick squiz at his little friend. Therefore he is a manhore.

Fact three: He seeks attention.
First he overdoses on drugs, nearly dies, flashes his knob on the internet and then tries to side with monkeys and take over the world. Then to top it all off and add a little more publicity he dates Ashlee fucking Simpson. God! This man has no clue that nobody cares. Soon he will become the man version of Paris Hilton, infact he’ll probably date her, then change his mind, and date another anorexic slut after another. Eventually he will settle down with a lovely MAN. I suggest he should try someone more in his league, like Ray Toro, Bert McCracken or even maybe that guy... what’s his name? Oh Shelby Bannister.

Fact Four: He started a deadly infection.
It's called Wentz syndrome. Since he's known for taking a massive amount of pills of himself. Arm always in there, face turned sideways, emo fringe perfected and of coarse a small amount of facial hair. Many girls and boys have tried to re-create this look and sadly succeeded. Next comment

Fact five: He can’t play for shit.
He sucks at bass guitar. He sucks at everything. He's a man-slut. It's true. The only stage move he has is spinning around in a circle, and he copied that off Joe. His bass is in the pattern of Clandestine, which is completely insane. These move on to the next topic...

Fact six: Clandestine is insane (in a bad way)
Okay (I promise)
1: Clandestine? Wtf?
2: His tattoo’s the logo on himself. Real smart, I mean what if it completely ruins him? It’s going to be there for the rest of his life.
He wears the brand constantly, always self promoting. He forces his ex and her husband to wear it. Next he's probably going to move on to the queen or something.

Fact Seven: He says like, like, alot.
Let’s have a normal paragraph:
Hi, I'm Pete, I like music and girls. I have a friend called Patrick and a dog called Hemingway. I’m 28 years old and am currently taken.

NOW lets add some peteness into the mix:
Hi, I’m LIKE Pete, I LYK like music and LIKE girls. I LIKE have LIKE a friend called LIKE Patrick and a LIKE dog called LIKE Hemingway. I’m LIKE 28 years old and am LIKE currently LIKE taken.

Great, now you can speak fluently in Pete.

Fact eight: He only has TWO good things about him.
1. His dog Hemingway. Tis a cute pudgy English bulldog who probably smells better than him.
2. His full name Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz the III
I mean god, who wouldn’t kill for a name like that?! "Hello, IM Prince Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz the Third, I rule the communist state of Pete land"

And that’s LIKE that. So LIKE bye!