Still Nobody

I don't know why people make such a big fuss when they find out I have have with highest honors or some other achievement when in fact it doesn't even matter. Nobody cares about what I've achieved. Not even my parents. Material reward such as medals or certificates and little bit more fame is all I get when I accomplish something. Aside from that, nothing else.

I do envy the girls who accomplish not so big things but feel so happy with the support they get from their family. I never got to experience the feeling they probably feel. I achieve things and give my parents what they want yet I get nothing in return. I don't wish for any material thing that some parents reward their children with. A little support and congratulations would do. But I get nothing.

"Mommie, here's my card. I have H1," I say as I arrived home. My mom looks at my card comments on why I got low on certain subjects, signs my card, then gives it back to me. Supportive much huh? Not even a "congratulations" or "keep up the good work" from her? Instead of congratulating me, she opts to give me destructive criticisms.

I know I'm not supposed to be feel bad because in the first place, I should be used to it. Every year, every quarter, every achievement. It's nothing for them. Sadly, I still feel bad. More over, they keep telling me that I just give them H1 and they'd give me anything I want but when the card comes and I do give them want they asked for, I get nothing in return. Promises forgotten, my ego crushed.

To add to my sadness, there is a huge amount of unfairness between my sister and I. Whenever my sister doesn't have a 7 in her card, my parents would celebrate and really make her feel like she's everything. I don't have line of 7 nor line of 8 in my card, why don't I get the same appreciation from them?

I try to give them all they want but I still get nothing in return. You would say they give me love. Love? I can't feel it nor see it. They don't give me material things I ask for even when I need them. On the other hand, they give my sister things even with the card grades she shows them. Feel their love? All their time is spent working and whenever they have time, it's all for my sister.

I guess people are right when they say that some teenagers nowadays enter boy-girl relationships to cover up for the love they need from their family. I believe I feel the same way. Fine, I lack attention and love. I'm selfish when it comes to those things. But that's just because I never really get enough of them from my family. When someone says they love me, there's always someone else that shares their love. In my family, my sister is the only one they see most of the time. They only see me when they want to get mad or order me to do something. Aside from that, I'm a nobody. Still a nobody even with what I give them.