I Think She Hates Me 0__0

I get the feeling that my mom doesn't like me. Just because I chose to live with my father or something.

Whenever I visit her, she locks herself in her room and watches TV with my little sister, while she leaves me with my two little brothers. Everytime I knock on her door to say good night, she won't answer 0__0.

I'm hoping this is all a part of my imagination. But when I called her today to see if she wanted me to come over, she told me to stop calling her and to leave her alone.

-___-

I try. I really do. I really try to savor what's left of our relationship, but she just makes it so impossible. Especially when she drinks. She just starts blaming me of all people for her problems. She tells me I'm the reason my brother ran away and that I don't appreciate all the "love" she's given me.

And it hurts. It really does.

Ah well. Maybe I should just give up on our relationship? It sure would save me a lot of pain. But I truly do want to spend time with her. It sucks to not have a mom, which is technically the situation I'm currently in.

I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do to make her happy with who I am.