Well it must be difficult, being so gorgeous.

As much as I wish you hated me, well had a reason to, I wish the same for me.
Things were perfect, a picture of perfection but why didn't i just...keep going? Push that doubt to the back of my mind and make life surreal for once.

Because I'm a worried little girl. I worry that this isn't what I'm supposed to be doing, I fret over nothing. I change like the hands on the clock, round and round I go. But you don't know that do you?

I wish I had the balls to talk to you about what we 'have' or 'had' if it was anything.

I didn't want to be ashamed of you, and even more I don't want you to know that. I wanted to be proud I wanted to scream it at the top of my lungs. But I was ashamed and I was embarrassed. But know this: we had little or nothing.

You're sweet, like the blood between my teeth, but that's not what a girl needs. I want someone who keeps me guessing, who will drive half an hour to see me for five minutes, I NEED someone who can take me places...who WILL take me places. I want someone who makes me feel like the only girl in the world.

That wasn't you. I had YOU guessing, I had YOU on the edge of your seat. I was the picture of failure in that so called relationship. Two...count em two days and you tore me apart.

I guess its true: love will tear us apart.

But here I go again, playing the songs that remind me of you, wishing I didn't love them as much as I do. Just so i have a good reason not to play them.

I didn't want you leave you gutted on the clothesline. But I did. Trust me, as much as it hurt you it hurt me more. I wanted more than anything to say that was easy, but the way i explained it was short of easy. It was harder then hell, I beat the shit out of myself just to make you feel better. when i was right and you weren't.

I'm to unstable for anything or anyone. i cant even handle the smallest amount of pressure and i come crumbling down. why?

because i actually liked you. i liked you alot...but i didn't like how everyone else made me feel...i should have ditched them and ran like hell. but i didn't want to be that girl. I'm not that girl.

I'm the girl that sits at home and cries because she let the only good thing in her life go because she couldn't take the shit people said even when she knew it wasnt true.

Im giving up this time. I dont want to sit at home, worrying over what you're doing, where you are, and why you havent called...when i didnt call you.

I dont want to care. I want no strings attatched. You call me when you want to talk and I call you. I want friends with benefits, i want to see you everyday. Your voice isnt enough.

This will bring me close to you, this will break us clean in two.