I must come across as a really depressed character mustn't I? I tend to only come on here when I'm feeling down.
I'm feeling down but I'm the lonliest I've ever felt. Ever. I know that I have some amazing friends who all care about me so much but I feel so so trapped and I don't know how to speak to them...or anyone else for that matter so everything stays inside me.
I'm tired.
I want to sleep.
Forever.
I'm supposed to be having a big birthday party on Friday. 3 people that I really like are all supposed to be coming, one of whom I've slept with. I'm nervous. I want to be happy on that night. But I know I'll think of him. Unfortunatly...he seems to envade all my good times or times of escape.
I want it to rain. Rain and rain. I sound like an emo...but thats what I want. I like it. It calms me down.
I wish it was Friday night again. We went clubbing with the band we know. It was amazing. I had such a good time. I got really drunk but loads of songs came on in the club that reminded me of him.
And now, all I want is a cuddle. I just want a really big cuddle. I'm tired. Tired of everything and everyone. Tired of how my life seems to be going. Tired of constantly feeling unmeticlious. Just tired in general. Thats why I want to sleep. And I want to wake up in a huge comfortable double bed some place EXTREAMLY beautiful and far away from here on my own...no one with me. And just start again.
Sleep
November 26th, 2007 at 07:37am