If there's one thing I love more then talking about movies I love it's talking about movies I hate. There's just some satisfaction I get from criticizing movies and even ripping them to shreds.
In the early and mid 1990s the horror genre has sunken into a slump (both creatively and financially). This was due to the onslaught of countless slashers made in the previous decade. It was too much, and by the 90s people were tired of it. 1996 saw the release of Wes Craven’s “Scream”, which was also a slasher but it actually made fun of previous slashers without actually being considered a parody. Scream was a huge success (with the critics and the box office).
The horror genre wasn’t greeted with another great film (in Canada/United States) for four long years, with the release of the Canadian independent movie, “Ginger Snaps”. In between the release of “Scream” and “Ginger Snaps” we saw forgettable (and sometimes downright awful) movies like: Alien: Resurrection, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Children of the Corn V and VI, Lake Placid, The Rage: Carrie 2, etc. It was movies like this that really insulted the intelligence of the viewer and relied heavily on stereotypes that have been deemed “old and tired” the previous decade.
The 2000s are just as bad when it comes to horror (if not worse). Ginger Snaps, Ginger Snaps II, Freddy vs. Jason, 28 Days Later, Shaun of the Dead, The Devil’s Rejects, The SAW series, and 1408 are all great movies that made the horror genre proud. But in exchange, we got movies like:
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2
Well …it was an improvement over the original at least. If “The Blair Witch Project” was a person standing for an hour and a half, then “Blair Witch 2” was a person walking for an hour and a half and tripping up a lot. The original movie was the lowest of low. It was three people in the woods with a camcorder screaming and running a lot. In the sequel, they actually tried to maintain a plot …it was just horrendous.
Rashid’s Rating: 1.5/10
Jeepers Creepers
Another senseless horror flick aimed at teens, but really has nothing to offer to anyone with at least a 90 IQ.
Rashid’s Rating: 2/10
Jeepers Creepers II
(Same as above)
Rashid’s Rating: 2/10
The Ring
Aw-aw-aw-aw-awful! This a movie that tries way too hard to be spooky when instead it just falls flat on its face. It “tries” it be intelligent and frightening. But the characters might as well just be cardboard cutouts. And the plot is laughable.
Rashid’s Rating: 3.5/10
The Ring Two
(Same as above but even more so)
Rashid’s Rating: 2/10
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It took what was gritty and low-budget about the original out for a “polished” look with big name Hollywood actors. Not as awful as the other movies I mentioned on this list, but I hate it just the same.
Rashid’s Rating: 4/10
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
Boring, violence, lack of compelling plot, useless characters that are just ‘there’, yada yada yada... You heard it all before.
Rashid’s Rating: 2/10
Alien vs. Predator
How could they possibly mess up a movie like this? No one watching this was expecting a cinematic masterpiece that would give Citizen Kane a run for its money. All we wanted was many scenes of aliens and predators beating the hell out of each other in gruesome battles. That’s all. Paul W.S. Anderson couldn’t even manage that.
Rashid’s Rating: 2.5/10
The Amityville Horror
Another incredibly bland and useless movie that would make the world a better place without its presence.
Rashid’s Rating: 3.5/10
The Exorcism of Emily Rose
Somehow this movie isn’t even as exciting as sleeping. Now …I’m not sure how that’s possible, though sadly it is.
Rashid’s Rating: 3/10
Eli Roth’s Hostel
1/3 porno, 2/3 torture. That may not sound bad to some people, except that this piece of garbage was only made for the intention of grossing people out. Character development, suspense, horror, and plot are not just secondary, but almost non-existent.
Rashid’s Rating: 1.5/10
Eli Roth’s Hostel II
Same movie as the original, except replace the males with females and “1/3 porno” with “1/3 chick flick”.
Rashid’s Rating: 1/10
House of Wax
Just as good as Paris Hilton’s acting career …oh wait.
Rashid’s Rating: 2.5/10
Wolf Creek
I almost forgot to add this movie to the list. It’s just that forgettable. Excruciatingly boring, I was tempted to turn it off just thirty minutes in. But I held in and watched all of it and will sadly never get that time back.
Rashid’s Rating: 2/10
The Covenant
A horror movie with Matrix-rip-off fight scenes. NOT a good combination.
Rashid’s Rating: 3/10
The Grudge 2
I didn’t mind the original (remake), I found it to be half decent. But this is just as laughable as the American-Ring movies.
Rashid’s Rating: 4/10
The Hills Have Eyes
For a torture-horror, it sure has lots of torture. But sadly, not a speck of horror.
Rashid’s Rating: 2.5/10
The Hills Have Eyes II
(Same as above but even more so)
Rashid’s Rating: 1.5/10
The Wicker Man
Stupid, stupid movie. The lack of sense it makes is actually astounding. The only memorable scene was seeing Nicholas Cage punch a woman.
Rashid’s Rating: 1.5/10
Alone in the Dark
Idiotic and boring. I can’t see how people even find Uwe Boll’s movies entertaining. They make me want to sleep. Actually I did fall asleep during Alone in the Dark.
Rashid’s Rating: 1.5/10
House of the Dead
Too much stupidity for anyone to handle. I had to turn it off 60 minutes in to save my brain cells.
Rashid’s Rating: 1/10
Bloodrayne
Uwe Boll’s best movie …wow that’s sad. Not even Meat Loaf, Michael Madsen, and a sex scene could save this. (and no, the sex scene wasn’t with Michael Madsen and Meat Loaf)
Rashid’s Rating: 2.5/10
Bloodrayne II
*BOOM - Headshot!* That was the sound going through my head every minute that I watched this movie. Surely that tells you something.
Rashid’s Rating: 1/10
Until next time
-Rashid
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