oh, joy.

i was invited to a friends friends birthday thingy. let me explain a little more. my mate kirby, she invited me adele and her friend staci to hers for a sleepover on her birthday, i didnt know staci but it was fun and shes pretty cool.

and i got a text from kirby a week or so ago saying i was invited to stacis birthday thing on today, and shed text me about it nearer the time.

she never texted me, i nearly forgot, my mum reminded me yesterday, so i emailed her (phone costs money, its low on charge.) id forgotten to charge it and she reminded me today. no text. i phoned her house. theyd all gone out.

oh, joy.

luckily i have this skill where i never cry, i never feel pain or any kind unless its incredibly serious. i feel numb. which is where the sarcasm comes in. its an emotionless thing, is sarcasm, i cant do it when im sad, it doesnt sound right. just imagine..

not smiling or sad, nothing in my eyes. blank face. i hang up the phone blink once, and say "oh joy"

the only problem is, im fighting to keep this numb. my mum hugged me and said, "ohh, lilly!" which is what she calls me when i cry. and i said "what? im fine. its not like im one of stacis friends."

now im asking myself why i feel like eating cake, and why i feel the need to make a journal about it. all i ask of you, reading this, is can i have some cake that isnt real cake that would make my mum realise i actually dont feel fine? (but i swear to you i do. concentrate, lyddy! numb.)