Monday Drama

December 17, 2007
10:01 p.m.

It's 10:01 p.m. and I've just settled in after arriving home from ballet. I first ate then refreshed myself soon I'm right here typing this. So now, let me start from the very beginning of my shitty day!

I woke up at 6:00 a.m. and I wasn't feeling that grouchy though I'm totally sleepy. My whole body felt heavy but I got up and got ready for school. When I arrived at school, I was anything but welcome. Everyone must have been in their monday moods just like me. The school bell rang and lesson started. During second period we had our practice for field demo which is the damned "samba". I practiced with a totally annoyed look on my face with every trace of the thought of being anywhere but here. Finally recess came then CLE then practice for the stupid samba again! Practice was of course......HELL! I hated every fleeting moment of it until it was time for lunch.

I felt so annoyed how stupid this whole field demo thing is and that I don't even have a lick of talent in dancing samba which is the other thing that annoys me...(yeah sucking at something does annoy me!). We asked the teacher what if we wouldn't join the whole samba thing and she said that she wouldn't give any project rather we might even be a possible candidate for failure! So another reason to swear loudly but then I didn't. It's just isn't fair how we're all FORCED into this frigging madness of field demo and cheering. Don't we all have free will? Why can't they decide something everyone will actually benefit from aside from possibly getting skin cancer. This is just another burden to me with all the payments I have to freaking pay! So.........Lunch came and I was like, yeah...

First period was Algebra..........yeah, that sucked too. Another thing that makes me annoyed is how everything always goes wrong here! I know the lesson but then here comes the test and I get every answer right except for the fact that I may be missing out on a few things. These things actually bring my score down to zero........hell yeah! I just don't seem to get why do other people always succeed though I work just as hard. Is it me or me I destined to fail and live with mediocrity each time?

Next subject: Biology. It was fine though I almost got 9 during oral defense still in the end I got a 10 out of 10. Okay that sort of made me cheer up a bit. Finally homeroom then at last.....Dismissal...my favorite subject wherein I'll never fail! hahaha

Since it's Monday, I always have ballet class at around 5 p.m. I've always looked forward to ballet since it makes me happy and serves as an outlet to all of my stress. Today, it just isn't my day. Yes, ballet sucked too. I don't seem to want to explain why it sucked but yeah...I'd explain it anyway. Sorry but this might seem senseless.........

I'm annoyed why I'm always at the back. A reason why I hated it more was one of my classmates saying that she isn't used to staying at the back...same here, but I was just at the back before but now........I'm the VERY back! I'm even wondering why I'm at the back too much. Do I really dance that bad lately? I mean just now, they re-blocked a dance we blocked ages ago and I'm rather okay with the place I'm staying regarding I'm not really far back now they placed me at the very back! All because of those absentees who didn't bother sacrificing free time like I did! It just isn't fair! We're already wasting time and it's totally unfair to those who gave up spare time to just do the blockings while they just took my former place somewhere in the middle and transfer me to the far end of the world! I really am nothing and could I be even more nothing?! Now I'm even more annoyed since we have another blocking this friday and we're having a Christmas party with my friends. Of course I'll just have to sacrifice the party for the blockings wherein I'd be in Pluto!

So if you're going to say that since I'm tall, I'm supposed to be at the back. NO! There are tall people in front and no, they don't have solo roles. See how unfair it all is...perhaps you'd think I'm exaggerating and being senseless still I don't care. I feel it all is unfair.

School sucks today and perhaps even tomorrow and the day after that. Ballet class seemed to suck itself. Life sucks.........why does everything suck? Why do they have to make ballet suck for me when it's the only thing I thought I was good at? It's not fair! It was the one thing I truly love doing and now they're taking it away...........no fair!

Yeah, so this is my Monday drama and I do hope this won't happen again........anyway, I do know that I shouldn't think like this. It just isn't right and it just isn't healthy. I should learn how to think positively...but geez.....I can't help but see my life as a glass half empty. I suppose I just need to think of things that I have and what I don't...