calf love

this is all personal shit. I need to vent, but just so you know this is nothing worldly or engaging. It's just hormones and adolescence condensed into paragraphs.

well.
It's been a while, has it not? Banned till December 10, but I didn't come back until the 26th...pride perhaps? Stubbornness?
Actually, I think I was just busy.
With work
friends...
boyfriends.
plural there. never thought that'd be me.

Short version of my life since last journal? Well, if I remember correctly, when i left my ex best friend had heard of my canoodling with her ex...after that the shit hit the fan. It got pretty bad for all of us. She can be pretty nasty when she wants and made his life and mine a living hell. About a week later I had a breakdown at work when my boss was yelling at me for basically being crap. Then my till was down $20 and I just burst into tears and couldn't stop hiccuping for half an hour. Then I went home, cried some more and got drunk and listened to imogen heap. That was rock bottom.
Not that it was all go for the friend - at school she was all spite - so was I, in a more stuble way (but maybe I was worse - a smile can drive you mad) and she told me later she stopped eating. It was all so stupid.

a bit after that I started dating pat - at first just to annoy the friend, because I was still feeling vengeful. We were just talking but we got some yells,because it was for some reason thought that we were going out - the friend, she came over and started laughing and making jokes. Just for a joke we pretended we were. The next day we were still pretending and when someone asked us if we were going out we said yes.
I still can't believe that lasted a month.
It ended because I ended it - because I cheated on him twice, first at a friends party - my current boyfriend was there. We were both drunk and had no one. We both went to bed early and at first just talked - we ended up making out but we said sorry the next day.
So I never said anything because I thought that was it.

a few weeks later I went to his (current bf) semi formal after party - we ended up sleeping in the same tent. After that I broke up with pat. No one deserves someone like me.

After that my bf and I met at a mutual friends...and hooked up again.
And so far it's working out.

Sort of.

and me and the friend are friends again. I just said to her one day she should look a our youtube channel because we had over 12000 views. We ended up talking and she came over the next day and it was like old times. I had the best day today, with her and my bf - just mucking around, watching movies.
I was great, and I miss times like that.

But right now, my life is perfect
Christmas is over
so no more 30hr weeks
I have a boyfriend
a bestfriend
a job
a family

so sorry for my whining earlier.
Just needed to get it out.

-mikki