I just SUCK at dating.

If only it would snow...

Snow is beautiful, and I've walked through it in a t-shirt and shorts before. Cold? Yes.

Fun? YES.

What I really feel the need to write about, though, is teenage romances. Some are good, and some are bad. I've had a boyfriend for each of the last school dances and each time was different.

The first one was annoying, obsessive, and didn't know me at all. He still avoids me and still claims he loves me. At the dance we slowdanced close and I had to coerce him into kissing me because he didn't want to get thrown out. (wuss)

The second one, we got together at the dance, mostly because I grinded on him. At least he knew me better, but it was over in a week and we're still friends.

The thing is, neither relationship MATTERED to me. One mattered to the other guy, and he got hurt. Half the point of dating in junior high is to have fun. The other half is to get attention. The reason you date the person you date is attraction. If you're going to fall in love when you're in eighth grade....where is it going to go?

Is it possible that I can't attach myself to any guy is because I feel like I HAVE to like another? I can't seem to like any guy more than the one I've liked since 4th grade. Any relationship or flirtation seems like a betrayal of him, and never the other way around. I can care about another guy's feelings, but whether or not my blue-eyed blondie seems a bit jealous is alway more important to me.

I don't want to date him, though. I just don't want it to be over like that. Even if he ever liked me, even if he liked me a LOT, we both have more growing up to do. I've never wanted anything perfect. I've just wanted something perfect for ME.