"I'm falling more in love..."

I sit here listening to My Beautiful Rescue by This Providence. It makes me think of the person I currently have major feelings for. His name is Derek. He supposedly likes me, at least that is what he told me…

But he has a girlfriend. She lives seventy miles away from him… I only live about 45 miles away from him. We see each other at least twice every month at shows… And when we do... That’s our time. They only see each other once every month, if they’re lucky.

I don’t know what to do. He flirts with me. He holds me. He holds my hand. When it’s time for me to leave at shows, he picks me up while he hugs me and tells me I can’t leave, yet he has a girl friend.

He’s told me he doesn’t know how to break up with… He has also told me that he wants to be with her, yet he doesn’t. He’s cheated on her several times… He’s told me this, yet I still fucking have the strongest feeling for him. I don’t know what to do… Honestly.

*sighs*