Dear Journal,
Well I’ve done it again. Once again I’ve turned to cutting to solve my problems. My mom told me that my addiction to cutting doesn’t compare to her smoking. No one cares about my feelings on the matter. No surprise. My friends and I have solved our problems but not my family and I. Fighting with each other is all we know how to do. My grades are improving but my health isn’t. What really isn’t fair is I’m the only one stuck on a diet. While everyone else can sit around eating and drinking whatever they want, and I get to suffer. Music doesn’t make me feel better anymore, it just makes me stop crying. Seems like anymore my “parents” are never home. Like on weekends they always seem to find time for their friends but not for me. I could care less if dad ever finds time for me again. We have no relationship. Just once I wish mom knew how it feels to be me. Lacy and I are officially never talking again. All I really want is to feel ok, but there is no to help me. All they want to do is start fights with me, and all the counselors I’ve ever been to have told me all I want is attention or its all my fault I am the way I am. So why would I go to someone else? I don’t talk to people other than my friends. Mostly I think its because I don’t trust anyone. I have gotten over the whole getting pierced thing. I’ll just wait. I just wanna be happy again. Truthfully I don’t even know what that feels like anymore. Gotta Go. Bye.
Till Next Time :(
Rachael
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