Cooling off some steam

Well ok, im sitting here over analyzing all my thoughts right now. I have soo many thoughts at this piont, its not even funny. This is how i feel right now, w/ no judgement from anyone, im going to express them. Not for any sympathy, just because i need to, and my venting is either writing, music, just, idk, something to get it out.

The pressure of life, is just far too much for me[anyone] to handle. My way out of things has always been to run away and ignore them. Never realized that running away from your problems just builds more fear and weakness... Im horrified of what the future holds fro me. I like to not think about it, but in such times as these, its pretty impossible not to pay any attention. it all comes down to this:
Im not happy
Im very lost
Im weak
Im very desperate for something
Im confused...
Take that for what its worth. As much as we like to think that we're different, special, or even higher than others; we. are. all. the. same. We all bleed. We all cry. We all hurt the same. Your image and your idividuality is what you make it. you can try to fool as many as you wish. our generation is majorly fucked up. We are hypocrites, liars, stealers, fakers, cheaters, and cruel to each other.
But we all just sit back and watch as we tear each other apart. Noone does anything to try to fix it. Noone listens anymore. Everyone is to worried about themselves and all the little things that dont matter. lets boycott ourselves. lets abandon ourselves and our pride and just be free.
Dont you hate the feeling that your not good enough for something or someone because of your appearance.
Sometimes it just feels hopeless.
I feel as though tears arent enough to release the emotions i have anymore and i feel lost in the chaotic commotion and the silence that always follows. Its hard not to let go the only thing that keeps me going that "soon ill be out of this...and something different, something Great will finally come along.
I hate waiting. Sometimes the best ppl in the world never get what they deserve from waiting and its as if we're waiting all our lives on something we may never get to experience.
Time is a waste of time, but time isnt real. Its simply an illusion. The only thing that is real, is the moment. The here and now.
So dont dwell, but dont be afraid to wonder and remember. In the moment, if not bound by the past, you can forever be free if you can learn to hold onto it, and let go of the past. You creat the world around you, the day you realize it.
I dont know much of anything anymore and its as though im holdong onto nothing now. I feel like im blabbing and not making any sense,all i wanna do is scream until my lungs explode, cry until my eyes fall out of my mind. I want to sleep until the end of the world. I want to throw myself to the ground like a little kid, kicking and screming until i get what i want.
I think ive let off enough steam ... just wish things could be how i want them to be right now or when i was young, naive. I guess thats the best part of life... waiting?
seeing what the future holds for us.... like i said before
We are all hypocrites, liars, fakers........