Ah, caffeination- that sublime, bitter gift of omnipotence only an addict could understand! Our national vice, I think coffee must account for at least a third of our productive economy, and close to half of my personality. Coffee cements business deals, it turns insomnia into genius and elevates procrastination to an art form.
And I am all out of it...
Dry. Clean. Practically sober. And worse still- coming down. My doctor has decreed a ban for me on all addictive substances, including my sweet exilir of life. For not the first time in my life, I am inclined to disregard an opinion I paid money for. Die at thirty? Screw that. No coffee is death.
Going sober... maybe. But permit me one vice. Juiced up is about as close as I get to being gainfully employed.
I remain, as ever, your artificially enlightened friend,
Frank.
Not registered?
Create an account