ok hi everyone i dont really know what to write because i havent done one of these before but hey im just gonna tell you about something thats going on in my life.
i have a friend who has recently come out as bi, i personaly thinks its ok i dont mind bi/gay people because their still human despite who they choose to like my only problem would be if they were to get into graphic detail about there sexual encounters, because of the way i was brought up my mind immediantly thinks its wrong and i might say something without thinking that'll cause chaos.
So yeah recently ive stopped talking to that friend over a silly little fight but both our egos stop us making up, its quite horrible because every now and then i would find myself saying things like "omg shes soo fat and annoying i just wanna slap her"!! and because im kind of the leader of our group i no i could and no one would say anything ( well one person would but i would get onto that later) but i have to stop myself because we'd only started talking again like last year.
We originally broke up in Yr7 because i was "bullying her", not anything big just things like putting worms in her bag even though we new she had phobia of them and telling everyne shes a lesbian, telling evryone shes a stalker despite the fact that i invited her to come with me then ignored her... ok i'll admit that is really evil but i was like 11 and wasnt used to all the power i was geting, but anyway we resolved that and became really tight however we stopped talking again on a school trip (over an apple but hey thats not the point).
In the mean time i had to have another friend to kind of replace her to kind of show her shes nothing and easily replacable. Me and my other friend became reallly close because her mum commited suicide and i was there for her we had our little spats but they were always small and we eneded up talking again.
Eventually me and my first friend started talking again and because i was already tight with my second friend we became a little threesome, it was then that my first friend admitted being bi.
As i said in the beginning me and my first friend stopped talking recently and whats happened is my second friend has chosen her over me , she hasnt outright said it but if there was a spare seat on my table and my first friends, she'd go and sit with her.
obviously i felt rejected and like a loner and i slowly starrted resenting them. the fact that my new replacement friends (yes ive replaced noth of them) are against gays (ones a jehovahs witness the others stuck i her ways) made it easiar.
however jelous i get im still a true friend and i kept my word when i said i wouldnt tell anyone my first friend was bi however today in class my two new replacement friends were talking about bi's and i asked one of my other friends what they thought about my first friend being bi because they were just standing there quitely and she said to be honest i didnt no until just then
i felt really guilty because i had technically just given up my first friends secret but i was told repeatedly during the last 2 weeks that everybody already new!!
but i do no it was rong but i just dont know what to do about it because if i go to my friend and apologise i would not only be gettin myself in shit but i would also be "begging back with her" and because of the situation shes likely to refuse and be even angrier which i dont want because i'll feel like a dickhead but i do want her to know its not deliberate and that im not that bitchy..
Help Please..
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