ugh! am i stupid or am i stupid?!

gosh i feel like bashing myself over the head with something...what has got me so stirred up u ask? none other than a boy! i guess thats typical for a 15 year old girl, huh? well anyway im i a jam. i have a crush. im kinda gaga for this guy rite? well im the type of person who doesnt like to spend all my time gawking at the person i like and daydreaming about them every change i get. but thats the problem! thats exactly what imm doing! i turn to mush when he's involved!!! i dnt like that its so hard for me to be normal around him. its like i change. and thats not me! thats not what i want ppl to see. i hatet being shy. im a shy yet outgoing person...go figure huh? (ask my friends they know). well anywho i was in biology today and we did some weird LAB were we get to see our DNA so we are walking around with are dna in a beaker
(lol cheek water<---inside joke) when he approaches me and is all like lets mix DNA to see what happens. PAUSE ok usually i probaly wud have thought that was cool and did it but what did i do??? PLAY.
"-freakish girly shriek-ewww noway thats gross!" ugh i mentally slapped myself. there he was actually noticing my existence and trying to make a convo. and i show him im like ever other shallow girly girl who thinks everything is gross.when actually im not. talk about ironic. and u know what sucks must??? i probally still wont approach him....gosh i suck at this....lol