Random thoughts.

I might pretend to be a really strong person..but I'm not at all a strong person really.
I could look at someone and call them an a--hole but in reality I would be feeling guilty about doing so. Call me pretentious, thats what I probably am. Pretending to be strong...thats what I do. Its been less than a month since I broke up with him and so much has happened since then. He happened to read something I once wrote about him on some forum. Well, they weren't particularly good things...and he read them after we broke up...but we were best friends before we got to dating ... and now we are nothing. I went for these extra classes today and he was there...avoiding me like I was the plague. He never looked me in the eye, not even for a second...he hated my presence I could tell. I wanted to kill myself for being such a b-tch...and writing all those things about him just because we had a little tiff. It has ruined everything now. I wish we could be friends again...I might pretend to hate you and ignore you but I don't really.
I hate it -
when your friends look at me and call me a bitch.
you avoid me.
you walk away from a place and pretend like I was never there.
act like I was never a part of your life.
Just for something as trivial as that.
Its sad...I feel sad.
Suddenly, everything reminds me of you.
I wanted to break up with you in the first place...but now I feel like I shouldn't have. Maybe you weren't the most perfect boyfriend...but you were the bestest friend I ever had.
Maybe we weren't meant to be...maybe this was destined to happen to us...but it gets me frustrated to know you'll never be there...you'll never know what I was thinking when all of this happened, I'll never get to share anything with you..and never hold your hand.
Its true I don't love you anymore...but you were my biggest support system.
I feel lost now... I need someone to talk to...you used to be there before we dated and even when we were dating...now its all gone. And I know for sure its never gonna come back.
Maybe its right ... what they say...never date your best friend, its bound to not work out.

You used to talk to me like
I was the only one around.
You used to lean on me like
The only other choice was falling down.
You used to walk with me like
We had nowhere we needed to go,
Nice and slow, to no place in particular.

We used to have this figured out;
We used to breathe without a doubt.
When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see.
We used to have this under control.
We never thought.
We used to know.
At least there's you, and at least there's me.
Can we get this back?
Can we get this back to how it used to be?

I used to reach for you when
I got lost along the way.
I used to listen.
You always had just the right thing to say.
I used to follow you.
Never really cared where we would go,
Fast or slow, to anywhere at all.

I look around me,
And I want you to be there
'Cause I miss the things that we shared.
Look around you.
It's empty, and you're sad
'Cause you miss the love that we had.