Too Much Is Not Enough

I'm Kim's rock.
I'm Lucy's life-support.
I'm Nick's walking journal.
I'm the one to talk to.
I'm the one that understands.

I'm lost. Buried under self-help manuals and excuses as to why I'm not bettering myself. I'm forgotten. Jammed between the empty Vodka bottle and the ashtray of cigarette butts. I'm invisible. Hiding below the cling-film which desperately holds onto my curves the way I cling to love. I'm selfish. Wanting all life's happiness and wonder for myself. I'm talented. Struggling to get anything finished but still going for it with my all. I'm beautiful. Fighting the temptation to sound egotisitical and self-indulgent. I'm loved. Surrounded by the best friends and sweetest lovers in the world.

I'm not content.
I still want him.

I'm in love.
You can't tell me I'm not.
You can't tell me I don't know what love is.
Love is how he makes me feel, without meaning to.
Love is the butterflies I get everytime I think of him.
Love hurts. But sometimes it's a good hurt.

Falling into that beautiful thing called love.
Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.
Attraction.
Flirtation.
Euphoria.
Doubt.
Truth.
You feel fizzy. You feel funny.
You don’t want to stop and breathe.
You don’t want to think.
You just want to hold onto this unbelievable rush.
You tell yourself, I could learn to live with this feeling.
You tell yourself, this love, I won’t question.
This love, I will simply enjoy.
Because this love is, quite possibly, the one.

Too much is not enough.
He spoke these words too me once.
Following the line 'you're too cute'.
I'll remember it forever.