really. i knew my friend sarah probably thought i am, and when she said "oh well you never eat" i never thought she was being serious. i mean... she was mad, im skinny, its the kind of thing shed say.
and i thought my mate david didnt think it, we were on some school trip and he saw how much i eat in the afternoon D: i barely stopped, and when i wasnt eating i was like "im hungry." okay, so thats not always, but thats hardly something someone with a bloody eating disorder does!
but the other day i was wearing skinny-jeans like trousers and sarah said id lost weight and i said i know, and they practically ganged up on me telling me im too skinny and im underweight. im not underweight. im nearly underweight, but im not.
and today in class, they were talking and i was drawing and someone said anorexia, so i said "whos anorexic?" and david half jokily said "you." but then he said "sarah thinks so and i agree" but when i said "you agree? you think im anorexic?" he didnt look at me and said "no". so i guess he thinks im anorexic.
i mean... i know im skinny. maybe what everyone else thinks is too skinny. and i know i have body image disorder and feel that being skinnier than my friends helps me feel good about myself... but...
an eating disorder? they all think i have an eating disorder? it scares me that my friends can think that about me even when they see me eat, they see me eat every day and sarahs seen me eat takeaway at 4 after lunch, go home and have dinner... and more recently, david saw me stuff my face at the drama trip!
i feel so accused, and i havent even been accused, he denied it. they think im starving myself and that i think im fat... *sigh*
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