Letters to myself (insanity step one)

I can feel it, even now, even as a write this. It's shifting, switching and reversing. Change. My family, my friends, the way I feel...even the weather took an unexpected turn. All of a sudden everything is so cold. I'm still holding on as tightly as i can to every last shred of normality, trying to pretend that it's all in my head. But inside of me I know that's not the case. Everything is changing.
They say change is good, necessary even, that it forces things to evolve. But then why does it feel so wrong? It's like everything that i once thought of as being safe and real no longer exists. All the people that used to take care of me now come to me for guidance and support, expecting me to have answers to a life i have barely begun to understand. The tables have turned and i have been put into a position i'm not ready to be in, feeling vulnerable and exposed. All the plans i had for my life have drifted so far out of my reach and i've been left behind, just standing there, not knowing what to do next. I've reached a stage in my life where change is imminent. It's going to happen, against my will, inspite my efforts. I feel as if all of a sudden i've been forced to abandon life as i knew it, and what i've been given in return is this blank space, and a little voice inside my head telling me to choose how best to fill it. This fresh start might have been comforting had it not brought along so many doubts and questions. But it did. And now here i am, a work in progress, going nowhere but unable to stay where i am. Lost in a blank space of change. What now?