"I miss you", Confusion, and Guitars

I haven't talked to my real dad in forever. I think Christmas is the last time I talked to him. He's kind of an asshole. He gets my step-siblings and my half-brother so much stuff. What do I get? Nothing. I don't know why he treats my them better than me. Well he's mean to them. Not Larry, though. Larry is my little brother. My dad and my step-mom's kid. I suppose that's why he's treated the best... Anyway the rest of us are treated like shit, except they are remembered during holidays and their birthdays. At least I don't see him much, since my sister and I ran away a couple years ago. She's still stuck with him...

Anyway my dad e-mailed me today:

Hi Kayhla Im sorry I havent called lately there is no good reason for not calling.I really wish you would come over more and stay over sometimes we all miss you I have been looking online for the guitar you wanted maybe when you come we can go to alto music and look at the guitars they have. Well call me sometime I LoveYou Dad
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Now I am so confused. Mixed emotions. I feel bad for not talking to him. I feel mad that he's like trying to guilt me into going to see him ("I really wish you would come over more..."). And annoyed that he is trying to bribe me over with the guitar. He hasn't gotten me anything for Christmas or my birthday in five years, while my siblings get all sorts of things.... The one thing I asked for was a guitar... I'm pissed at myself for believing that maybe, just maybe, he'll get me it.

Oh and I'm not just mad at him because he doesn't get me anything. There is a lot more to the story, I just don't feel like talking about it.

x-x-Kayhla-x-x