I wish you away

It started on Sunday morning, remember?

it has been a week since that thing happened or should I say since you knew? becuase of you I wasn't able to sleep and if I slept it would be like two or three hours of agony I was even thinking about it while I was asleep and when I wake up I would feel like shit then try so hard to drag myself out of bed. I was living on coffee,snapples and soluble pills for the past five days. I'm okay now.

I didn't want to go out ,talk to my loved ones nor take a goddamn shower. I was so mad at you and I'm still. I felt betrayed and hurt. I don't wanna see your face again. I don't wanna see anybody either.My secret is out and soon everyone is going to know. it's too late to explain anything to you or them. Especially when both of us are pretending that nothing happened. I don't know who should I blame. you? her? me? I'll never know. could things be better if you talked to me about it? I don't know.

I didn't want to tell anyone about it I wanted to be alone in all of this. I didn't want to tell my bestfriend about it. I couldn't bare to keep it inside anymore. I told my bestfriend, it felt so good to let out and share it with someone...with her. I'm not in the heeling process, not yet. it may take a while. until then I'll stay in my own little world away from you.

I hope you're proud of what you've achieved.