REQUEST/BIRTHDAY!

Hey it's my birthday tomorrow (the 12th) and I would like someone to write me a one-shot about me and Bert McCracken! :D
Doesn't matter if it's NC-17 or PG (though I do like me some naughty fanfiction) as long as you make it happy! Well, I'd like it to at least END happily.

Info on me:
Jenny / Jenn / JennJenn
5ft 2in (yes I'm short)
Chubby, but with curves in the "right" places (oh hai double D cups! hahahah!)
Pale as all hell
Black hair
Blue eyes
Small hands and feet
Kind of self-consious (don't really like my body)

Oh and it's my 22nd birthday xD