Well, it's been quite long since I made a journal, hasn't it now?
Today, if you ask, was not that good but not very depressing. I guess it was simply so-and-so.
Serenades.
There's this girl [ no, it's not me }. Hmn, let's give this girl a name. How about "Mary Anne"? Well, "Mary Anne" it is, then.
[ Jojo: Sh... ;) }
Well, you see, I like this girl. She's quite popular at school, though, so I have accepted that I simply stand no chance. I accepted that fact but, at sometimes, my daydreams can't seem to stop, uh, wishing.
Moving on...
The bell rang which signalled the end of recess. From the second floor [ where I was alone, wandering around the Basic Psychology and Visual Arts exhibit }, I ran up to the third floor, in front of our classroom, to line up. Yes, we still do that sort of grade school shit.
As expected, no one was in their line. They were still eating, talking, making assignments, studying, and so on. I, myself, was preoccupied with giving a handful of honest advices to my friend.
A groupmate from music class, Shaina, came with her blue guitar in her arms. She called our groupmates for a short-ish practice before the teacher came. She played but she can't seem to get a note right. Yes, I know how to play guitar but I am a mere beginner who can't even tune her damned guitar and get some chords right.
She muttered a bunch of curses, trying to get that note right. Mary Anne was staring at Shaina's guitar, specifically her chords. She asked what we were to play and she answered "Torete" by Moonstar 88, a local band from the Philippines. [ Trivia: "Torete" is a Filipino slang word which means confused, confuzzled, etc. }
Mind you, Mary Anne was brilliant at guitar. Not only that, she was great at playing the piano, drawing, singing, lettering, making someone laugh, at sports, etc. You would simply go :cheese: when you meet her and know more about her.
Okay, Mary Anne borrowed Shaina's guitar and she gave it to her, knowing that her guitar was in good hands. Mary Anne taught Shaina an alternative for the chords and played our song. We sang.
While singing, I stared at her hands, awestruck at her brilliance in playing. It was... wow. It was shocking she didn't create her own band.
Insert Natasha.
In Tagalog, she said, "Ui, si Mary Anne, hinaharana si Karlyn [ me }". Translation: "Ui... Mary Anne's serenading Karlyn"
She stopped playing.
I nearly jumped back, my eyes wide. I shook my head vigorously, and said "Ew, no" repeatedly. I can feel my face redden. I know; I suck at these kinds of stuff. I might be a great liar but at these things, I SUCK.
Obviously, I did not convince them that neither of us had feelings for each other. That... was simply out of the blue. No warnings. This, this secret admiration of mine was, obviously, a well-kept secret. No one, except a few of my trusted friends, knew about this. Was it the way I stared at her fingers? Was it the way I acted towards her? I acted like I did to any other person with her, except that "butterfly" feeling in my stomach and the "kilig" I felt.
After a few minutes, they stopped laughing and the teacher was already there. I remained a calm stance, which I did perfectly, and went to my place. I tried to get that happening out of my head but I failed. It kept on repeating in my head; it was sickening. I disgusted myself. The way I acted... ::no:.
Until now, it still replayed in my head.
Darn it.
Volleyball.
TLE/Home Economics class was finished. Relieved, I fixed my things for Physical Education. 'This is going to be good' I insisted, truly believing that fact. We were doing volleyball and since I did well the last time, I was quite confident.
*Skipping some random things*
We were doing serving from a long distance.
I tried;
failure.
I tried to catch the ball;
failure.
I tried to volley the ball;
utter failure.
But they didn't stop passing me the ball. A paranoid thought swept in my mind, thinking that they probably enjoyed seeing me miserable and embarassed. I didn't doubt that thought since it was highly probably.
Mary Anne, everytime I caught the ball and tried to serve, stepped closer [ she was part of the opposite team } and teased me.
"Woohoo! Go Karlyn! Kaya mo yan! Woohoo!"
Translation: "Woohoo! Go Karlyn! You can do it! Woohoo!"
I twitched and tried serving.
Failed.
I tried again.
I hit it, yes, but it was quite low.
I wanted to cry, to tell the truth.
They kept teasing me, taunting me, laughed at my miserable state. Our team captain simply stared at me with either disgust or pity. The pity part, she didn't show.
The sun, too, seemed to love my embarassed and miserable state. It glared at me and made me weak and tired.
I hated it.
I hated every single thing about PE today.
I'll stop here.
Comments? Suggestions? Clarrifications? Violent reactions?
Please let me hear them.
This has been 'kei!
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