Not sure on a title yet... go figure... it's kinda about autism i guess.

I'm awake... fantastic.

It seems that all opinions are wrong in the world, because they are opinions; however much we say they are the truth, they cannot be, because they are opinions....

also there is no objective truth, nothing is certain; who even knows if i exist right?

that aside; life seems to be good, i am content with myself, and the reason for this is that i've seen what i would be if i hadn't been driven.
I have a freind, who has had almost the same background as me, he has the same obsessions, similar mental querks... he too is aspergous... perhaps not as much as me. although he doesn't have so many fits of depression that never lead to a manic phase (DAMMIT!). anyway i'm looking at him, because he's a very very good freind of mine, an awesome guitarist, and a nice bloke. but i'm his girlfreinds advisor of sorts; the best gay freind anyone could ever have! anyway.... he has shown his autistic qualities to the max recently; he is being what i once was, he is ignoring things that matter (not just my freind being ignored, but also the fact his parents are spending extreme amounts on a court battle where the outcome was certain from the offset, and he doesn't seem to care about how pedantic his family are being.) but instead being obsessive about frivolities, about tiny little things, for example constantly quoting the same line; finding it funny every time, and generally being slightly immature at the least sensible moments.

admittedly this is kinda to be expected, but i looked at myself from this, and how i used to be like that, i used to be socially defunct; intelligent academically, but with very little emotion attached... you're average person with asperger's syndrome... but i've been driven out of that; from an early age by my parents, who forced me into social situations and such; making it hell at the time but giving me an easier life in the future. this helped me with the average person, so i don't constantly deal with the same subjects... admittedly i find it hard go gauge reactions (constantly thinking people are depressed for example). but i can deal with people now (sort of).

i was still terrible with relationships, i still got distracted far too easily, not really caring about people.

i'm better now....

which is why i have to also thank Rebbeca Kneale; somone i fucked up; because although i messed her up, she sort of pushed me against the wall and said "this isn't how you treat people you love!" she kinda taught me how i should treat people, and how to gauge their emotions etc.

my freind however, hasn't really had this... so although when i was diagnosed i was worse than him, i have changed. and he hasn't it seems.

and if you are reading, take this as a wakup call... you mean a lot to all of us, and we assume the same of you, so don't ignore us...

.... over and out commander [insert name here]