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I really admire Straight Edge people because it takes guts and conviction to stop drugs and booze completely. I can't count myself as being so because I drink (only small amounts) and take an antidepressant (again a tiny amount, but it still counts). I also have a bit of a caffeine addiction and eat meat.......... On the plus side, I don't smoke now. It was something I did socially and enjoyed, but I don't want in my life anymore.......... and the biggie........ I don't take other recreational drugs anymore.

It's coming up to the ten year anniversary of me taking Ecstasy for the first time. It's a strange feeling to have come so far and no longer want them or need them because it's taken me all that time to really shake them off. They were my "friends" and made my life bearable. They gave my experience depth and meaning to the point where I'd have died for them, but now......... I'm free.

I feel lucky I didn't progress on to harder stuff, which was more by chance than good judgment because there simply wasn't anything else around back then. Druggies are all into coke now, or at least so I've heard, and I'm so grateful that I never jumped onto that bandwagon. It's never going anywhere good, that's for sure.

When I was at uni I didn't have casual sex, which was more out of fear than a positive decision. Since then, I've been married and both of us have done wrong to each other... but now, I'm honest and so is my hubby. We both have a fresh start now... Our little girl has been hugely instrumental in changing us for the better.

So............ This is as close to Straight Edge as I'll probably ever get, but I'm happy with that.

Just an aside which is a bit of a throw back to my E days... I love the trance track with the vocal that goes "you are beautiful within, you are beautiful without........Let your spirit capture me, my love is blind........ You are beautiful within....... " ... I never found out who it was either, but it's just so lovely.......................

Found it...........

http://www.nightstage.net/lycris/31769-matt-darey-feat-marcella-woods-beautiful.html