I hate making these titles relevant...

but that's not the point.
it's not even part of my journal.

here's what's going on in my head:

You ever get the feeling people are tired of you? I've been recieving that message for the last two days.
Yeah.
I'm fucking weird.
I say weird shit.
It makes me want to lose my ability to talk. Or at least make me think for a few moments before anything of my own mind escapes into the real world. Once you've said something, it's obviously impossible to take it back. I just wish it wasn't/
Because I have the habit of coming off bitchy.
Or like one of those quiet-but-deadly types.

I wish I was fucking normal for once.
I seem to scare away all of my new friends.
And it seems as though no one else cares enough to even look me in the eye.

I think I've grown tired of my school.
I fuck everything up without even knowing it.

Then the moment I AM normal, I'm accepted into that group I want to be in.
But somehow I'll drift off and say or do something odd again.
Then the familiar looks of confusion flash across everyone's faces and I want to rewind time again.

Or maybe I just want to go back far enough in time to undo all that I've done.
They can survive without me.
And I can sure as hell get along without them.

~Adie