Hold Yer Balls, The Happiest Asshole Is Not Happy.

"Over 30 years ago a woman named Dorothy Retallack conducted experiments using music, plants and their combined environment. These results are famous.

Taking two identical sets of plants in two separated but identical rooms, she exposed them to music. The first set of plants were played quiet placid subdued devotional "religious" classical music, while the other set were subjected to loud aggressive rock music played at full deafening volume 24 hours a day. The plants exposed to rock grew away from the music source, withered and died, while the plants that were played religious music grew towards the music source and thrived.

The lesson? If rock music attacks and kills plants, what does it do to people? I think it's rather obvious - it does the exact same thing! Rock music attacks the nervous system, affecting one's emotional state. Is it any wonder why Americans, now more than ever before, are blowing-up in anger, flying off the handle, committing suicide, and losing their minds?

If your daughter comes home from school one day with dark mascara around her eyes, and wearing black clothing, she's being influenced by the wrong crowd at school. Be a parent! Put your foot down! Be as loving and kind as possible, but if that doesn't work, then be aggressive and say "NO!" It will be a cold day in Hell before any child of mine is going to tell me what, where, when, or how they're going to run their life. As long as I'm paying their bills, and they reside under my roof, then I make the rules! That's being a good parent. If you train your children while they're still young, then you will eliminate a lot of necessary conflicts when they become teens. I am amazed when I hear teenagers cursing their parents. That shouldn't be. The key is tough love. If your kids KNOW that you love them, then they'll give you their heart."


How on earth could someone be as ignorant? Thismademesofuckingangry. Even the hot chocolate Mother dearest came in with there now can't soothe my mind. Get ready for my ranting and raving kids. Hold yer hats and cup yer balls, I'm going in. *puts on helmet*

Let's start at the beginning. First off, I don't think this woman/adrogynous creature understands the simplicities of human biology: Plants are not people. Or else I'm mistaken, and we really have been growing up with cytoplasms and cell walls, photosynthesising everywhere. Please tell me I'm right. Somehow, I'm not quite convinced that we will wither and die when we hear "Number Of The Beast." (Well, my brother nearly did but we were playing Guitar Hero at the time and Lou beat him. Which is a different story.) Nor will we grow and bend towards the collective works of Handel. What proof has she/it got that *cue stupid impression voice* "it will attack our nervous system"? Where is the fucking evidence, ladyman?

And that tough love crap? Excuse me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't being treated like shit by your parents, who are supposed to love and accept you no matter what, drive you to commit suicide etc. more than anything? (Woah, rhetorical question overload.) I would not give my heart for tough love. Nor to being treated like a dog. "If you train your children while they're still young, then you will eliminate a lot of necessary conflicts when they become teens." Yeah. I'm sure. Yay for a narrowminded future generation!

Eugh. If you want the whole article/devil scratchings go here.
Ahah, make sure to read the dictionary's definition of "Goth". I couldn't even find it in the dictionary! And I have a proper Collin's Paperback English Dictionary, biznitch. Don't mess with Collin's.

Anyways, what do you sane people think about this?
March 9th, 2008 at 11:27pm