I think I'm in a hopeless mood again.
The one where my head is just ranting "What the hell are you doing? It's not worth it! It's not worth it! ITS NOT WORTH IT!"
But you know, just came home from the last day of camp, surprisingly not hungry, listening to some Fall Out Boy, letting the early spring sun beam down on me, and I'm not really sad.
I think I've just kind of given up in a way.
I can't sing. I can't dance. My grades are dead. I'm dead when my marks come back. I've stopped liking a guy I use to date.. Two Months Ago. And now.
There's nothing to really hold me back.
Is there?
No, Im not going to commit suicide. And Im not sure whether or not Im complaining about life.
I just feel, what's there for me to achieve? I don't want to wait to find out. And I can't.
Even my friends kind of don't really care.
They don't even know I cried when they forgot my birthday.
They don't know I cried when most of them didn't come to my birthday.
They dont know I cry when they just don't even try.
But, Idunn, do I even deserve friends? Do they even need me?
Well. Part of my rant is done.
And now.
I need to start writing a new story.
Its been so damn long since Ive written something.
And I feel so stupid for not sitting down and getting some time for writing.
Wel, I'm off to think of a story plot.
Losing Things That Really Matters Makes Me Crave Ice Cream
March 12th, 2008 at 08:47pm