Im not good enough.

Okay. i feel like crap. I cant get a boyfriend. nobody likes me that way. and im the only one out of all my friends to not have ever gotten someone. why me? why? ive always been left behind. why ME eating everyone elses dust? i cant stand it anymore. i want everyone to eat MY dust for once. why not? in anything! im tired of being alone and coming in last in everything i do, no matter how much effort i put into it. I always help peaple with relationship problems, but I cant even help myself! Why cant things focus on me for once? Im always there, but i cant be the main thing. nobody gives a shit if i have problems of my own i just help peaple with theirs. I want to be able to know what its like to have someone like me. i want to date someone. but i cant. because im drowning in a sea of pathetic self pity and i cant do anything about it! i can hardly haul my ass out of bed anymore. im cry almost everyday, because of something stupid, and im so wallowed up in myself to change! i want to, i really do, but i dont know how. i want to stop taking everyones problems for a while, but i dont want them to stop, because if i do, im worried they might fee like im pushing them away. I dont have anything good to say about myself right now, and i probably never will. i hate crying. Worse is, i need to talk to someone, but not on msn or on the phone and i cant go anywhere because i have to babysit for another6 hours!