I weighed myself today…
108.0
I almost cheered.
My size ¾ pants still fall off me, I feel like some punk gangsta walking around trying to hold them up…it’s not co cool, but it would be if I had some boxers though.
108.0
Is good, I can’t wait to tell my dad and go HA! I told him I could get up from 103…he didn’t believe be and bitched all night about how stupid I was to be a vegetarian/vegan.
He said people with eating disorders can’t be vegetarians…
He even threatened to move back to New Hampshire so I could have my doctors close by and go there 4 times a week. I will not waste my life that way…I couldn’t enjoy being 17 because it took up the whole year just going every other day to get poked and talked to and weighed.
I didn’t get my drivers license.
I didn’t get to be with the boy I liked. (which is okay now, he's a pot head)
I didn’t get to spend time with my friends before we moved.
I didn’t have a job.
I didn’t do my school so I didn’t graduate.
I was watched like a hawk when I ate.
I was put on so many medicines.
I was nearly admitted to an in program at the freaking hospital…
But I wasn’t.
I’ve never been admitted…not for anything…that was my goal last year…
Stay Out of The Hospital.
Now?...
I’d go back to it all???
Screw that.
But…
I won’t eat animals.
This is how thing've changed...but my pants still don't fit.
March 18th, 2008 at 09:20pm