I am hating my life and I'm stuck with it.

ASDHAFHKJLWHELIUWQHLUIH.

This week has not been a good week at all. It all started yesterday (Wednesday - 19th) when I was getting ready for school. Well, I guess I was all ready and was just waiting outside for the bus. I'm listening to my music on my ipod when I hear my new puppy start barking. I quickly unlock the door and tell her to be quiet. She stops for about thirty seconds before continues on. Then my older dog starts in and they will NOT stop. So I unlock the door again and set my ipod down and rush allll the way downstairs to scare the shit out of the dogs. My older one stops since he knows better but the puppy won't. So I just give up and head upstairs, only to find that one of my headphones don't work. Great. So finally the bus comes and everything starts to go okay.

I had breakfast at school as usual and was walking with my "friends" (the ones mentioned in the St. Patrick's Day entry) when my one friend Kat approaches me. She says she has to tell me something and pulls me aside. That is when I discover that her ex boyfriend committed suicide on Monday. They were really close and were good friends but he moved to another state so they just kind of ended their boyfriend-girlfriend relationship and just became friends. I did not know this boy but I felt really bad for Kat. Kat has also been known for ocassionally doing stuff so I just simply tell her if she needs to talk to anyone, she can call me. So now I have the thought of some one being dead and me having to go home to an annoying dog glooming over my head. I kind of go through the day okay until my last class period.

It was World History. We were having a test that day and I studied, I really did, but when we got the test... I did not remember a single thing. Luckily the first part of it was fill-in the blanks with a word bank but the second part was a writing part. I did not know an answer to any of the writing ones and I softly started to cry to myself because I sat there for forty-five minutes doing the first question, and still couldn't get anything. So I just scribbled down something for one of them and turn it in. Then my teacher tells us that one of the questions should have atleast a two paragraph response.. and I have nothing there. So after that I was feeling really bad and people told me not to make a big deal out of it but they just don't understand sometimes...

So I get on the bus and I'm trying to tell a story to my two friends when one of them kept interrupting me and laughing, saying that I'd never be able to finish. So she'd stop and I'd start telling the story again when she'd start laughing again. After the second time or so she had done it, I screamed "Shut the fuc- heck up!" My bus driver was listening at the time, and I knew I would have gotten in trouble if I cursed. Then they both started laughing at me so by them I'm just pissed. So I just give up telling them the story all together and sulk in my corner. I get off the bus and get inside to tend to the annoying dog. I let them outside and call my mom. No answer..... great. So I call her work phone and no answer there either. I had decided that she was in the bathroom and didn't bring her cellphone so I waited a few minutes. Well, more like ten.

After ten minutes I called again and still no answer. Then I'm starting to get freaked out because I have no idea if something even happened to her since it's just me and her living together. So I start panicking and call back-to-back when FINALLY after a half hour, she answers her phone. She explains why she was gone, she was in another building at a meeting, and I told her that I was getting worried and it was worse since I had a bad day. I tell her all that's happened and she feels bad, but I guess by telling some one it makes me feel a bit better. But then there's conflict over the internet and I honestly can't remember what it was about. So there's my excuse for not updating anything yesterday.

Next comes Darion. She does have an account on here and ocassionally comments on some of my stories. I can tell you know, just about twenty minutes or so ago it has been decided that Darion is no longer a friend. It's mean but let me explain why...

Okay when I met Darion, she was on ALL the time with her friend Laina. I knew Darion first so she was like, a really good friend of mine. But as school started to set in, she disappeared completely. That gave me time to bond with Laina, who was always on when I was. A few months into school, I learned that Darion's internet does not work. I understand that completely since it has happened to me a few times. So I get stories and such from Laina on stuff that happened at school with her, Darion, and their other friends. Laina began to mention that Darion wasn't really hanging around her anymore and was hanging out with one of those back-stabber type people. I'm not pleased by this but I let it slide.

Finally about a few months later, Dari signs on. I'm so excited and so I IM her. That was a mistake, since we ended up arguing. I told her she needed to sign on more and her response was "Yeah I know, I'm trying to do that more." Oh what a liar. She didn't sign again till about a month or so ago. Today she signed on, but I had no idea. How my MSN works is, I disabled noises, emoticons, and the pop ups messages so really, I have no idea who signs on or off. I was talking to Laina as usual and we were quite bored. So I tell her that I'm going to play the Sims 2 and open my mesenger to change my status. There I see Darion on. I wasn't really that excited that she was on, but I decide to IM her anyway.

"Well, look who decides to sign on.."

That was honestly not meant to be a mean comment. But then Darion accuses me right off the bat of not being on when she's on. It's a load of bull shit. I am on this computer all the time.. basically wasting my life away. I don't always get on Mibba but I am always on the computer. Then she's like,

"What? I just said that you're not on when I'm on because you're /not/, not because I'm trying to hurt you. And no one asked you to waste your life on the computer. Or if you are on when I am, you don't talk to me."

Those are her exact words. So then I tell her the whole issue of not being able to tell when or who signs on or off. I also tell her that she signs on but doesn't even bother to say 'Hi' to me and then wonders why I get pissed at her. All she has to do is just say 'Hi' and I'm okay. I won't bitch at her, I won't fight with her, I'll just be okay because I know she still cared enough about me to talk to me. When I see that she doesn't, my mind is saying, "Oh what a witch, being online but doesn't even bother to IM me... how lame she is." Her response is..

"I don't talk to you anymore because whenever I do you bitch at me. It's all you've been doing lately. And you /expect/ me to talk to you? I ahve to go throw supper in the oven"

Not anymore motherfucker. I wouldn't bitch at her if she just signed on more like she told me on numerous ocassions and just chatted with me. So right then I flat out told her that if she thinks I'm a bitch, I'm going to tell her that she is no longer considered a friend and will be blocked and removed from my list. She replied with "Same here" before I blocked her. After I had done that, there was so much I wanted to tell her but I'm not going to sneak around it in some way so that I can IM her.

No. Darion, if you just happen to read this (not like you will), I want you to know that you are the one who is being a bitch. You ditch Laina to hang out with some one who probably doesn't even like you /that/ much. By what I could tell, you and Laina were really good friends but now you just went and screwed it up because you're a dumbass. Yeah, that's right, a dumbass. You're one because you're missing out on a really good friend. Laina went from just being "the other person" to being one of my best friends. But whatever, if you want to mess up your social life then go ahead, no one's stopping you.

To cheer myself up, I keep telling myself that everything will change since tomorrow I should be getting the Deluxe Edition of Panic! At the Disco's new album. I am still excited as ever for it.