i am truely kinda pissed at guys in general right now .they pull your feelings around, and then leave you there, Promise you things, and then go off and leave...
Jesse couldve just not commited suicide... but i dont know what was in his head! he promised he wouldnt leave me, he said he loved me! i know we werent together and all, but
we were once. almost a year, then he moved. that year we were together was the best. even before we dated, he told me he loved me every day. i woke up to messages on my phone saying "HANA-CHAN~ I LOVE YOU~!!!". it always made me smile... he held my hand everywhere, and hugged me when i was sad. he never left me alone, and i did the same.
i remember one time we were walking outside, down to the park in my neighborhood. we got there, and some guys were eyeing me. he took me by the back of my head, and kissed me.. he didnt tell me why at the time, but later he did. he said that kiss turned him straight.
i miss him. my first love. my best friend... my Jesse...
he died on monday, March 17, 2008.
on a lighter note:
people always ask why i am bi. well, to put it short, i love a girl's gentleness, and i love a boy's strong kiss. so, finding that medium would be a bit hard? it is.
At the moment i like both a girl and a boy. both of these couldnt happen even if i got on my knees and begged. for the guy just doesnt want a relationship, and the girl i suspect to be straight, though she said she was bi.
ok, boy = bad, and girls = good. boys break your heart and throw it in a trashcan, while girls hand it back. keep that in mind with your next relationship girls.
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