Ever have one of those friends where you like them and they don't like you back and everyday you look at them and realize there will be something in your life you'll have to be without?
This problem is much much MUCH worse! Here is the entire story from Freshman year
I meet this guy freshman year, I can't say his real name so it'll be Nightmare
So Nightmare really hit it off and we were practically best of friends. I am a good listener and friend so whenever he had a problem I would be there to listen to him and console him. I didn't start liking him till like December and we meet in September. But I did and I tried to hide my feelings from him but it was horrible and I always felt nervouse around him. So one day in Algebra we were talking (passing notes really) and he's like...
Nightmare: "This school is filled with crazies you know that?"
Me: "I know I mean look at you"
Nightmare: "Hahaha very funny. But I mean its been kinda dull No excitment."
Me: "Well I know someone who like you and I am sure if there is one then there will be others. Count that as Excitment"
Nightmare: "wHAT?! Who likes me???"
Me: "Can't tell you!"
Nightmare: "Pleez!!! why not!"
me: "Because I just can't!"
Nightmare: "Come on!"
(The bell rings)
I take the paper and right me on it and leave, he reads it catches up to me and then the whole thing is history.
Now he asks me to be his girlfriend in march on my birthday and I say okay and I get my first kiss, "Never been kissed so sue me"
2 days later on my birthday party he DUMPS ME AND GOES BACK OUT WITH HIS EX-THAT HE HAD DUMPED FOR ME.
GET THIS HE DUMPED ME VIA TEXT MESSAGE.!!!!
CAN YOU BELIVE THAT!!!! I TEXTED HIM BACK SAYING ITS OKAY BUT ON THE INSIDE WAS CRYING MY EYES OUT!.
My room is on the second floor so I didn't go back downstairs after than and spent the remainder of my party crying in my room and pretending to my family that I had just eaten to much and had to lie down.
Then ame monday thank god it wasn't a week day. I though I was gonna be okay, I just say him in the hallway and spent the next 3 periods crying in the bathroom. But we still had algebra together for the hour period so I grit my teeth and stuck to it. We didn't talk we didn't even say HI to one another I stayed quite and did my work while he did. But as the bell rang he walkes next to me being that we get released early that day and we walk the same way I was so upset at him and I was afraid I was gonna cry that I walked on the opposite side of the street. He has my cell number so he calls me. Me being stupid I answer, all he says was please cross the street and talk to me so I do it.
We talk for a while and I convince him that I we should be friends
A while later he asks me out again and instead of lasting 2 days we lasted a good month untill he dumped me via text again over another girl.
Now I know you all are thinking I should have kicked his ass and never talk to him again, but the truth of the matter is I am still in love with him to this very day. I mean I can stamp it out if he stopped playiong around.
Like whenever I get mad at him he'll mouth out "I love you" and I am putty in his hands. But the worst is that I have a lot of friends, girls and guys. But he seems to always fall for a close frined of mine and it drives me insane.
Firts it was a friend that is now a senior, than another thats a sophmore and then another. I am so tired of this and instead of confessing my hearts desire to him I just sit back and watch as time after time my friends and close ones at that get to be with him whiole I don't I don't hold any ill will to them or him it just breaks my heart sometimes.
And the fact is that he is a carring person. Nightmare doesn't want to hurt me again, he knows for a fact that he did. Even though I said I was fine he has a way of looking past my tough girl exterior to the small girl within. Even if he did still like me and even if it did evolve into something more he won't come near me cause he doesn't want this to happen for a third time.
I have had other guys come up to me and ask me out but I always turn them down. Nightmare asks me why don't I give them a chance and I say I just don't like them.
But in truth my heart belongs with him and its always stayed there.
Theres this one guy that just won't take the hint that I don't like him but he keeps at it and I know if I tell Nightmare he will do something crazy (like bash his skull in crazy)
I don't know what to do know I have my heart crying for him when my mind is telling me no. I don't want to hurt anymore and I can't see me with anyone else but him.
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