Writing while crying, this is not good for my keyboard.

I'm crying.
Again.
I've been crying too much lately. But it's weird, I'm not crying from sadness. How long since I haven't cry because I'm sad? I find myself crying because I'm so mad, I'm so angry. But I can't shout, I can't yell at someone, I can't express myself anyway, so, I just cry.
Crying make me feel weak, make me be ashamed of myself, It just makes me feel so vulnerable. I've work so hard to build this image of a strong person. "I've never seen you cry." A friend told me once, "And you'll never will." I answered him. And now I'm weeping. I'm screaming for help but no one seems to answer. My mom it's hurt because I'm leaving her and moving to my father. So she just keep avoiding me, avoiding my glance, my words and my problems. "Ask your father." She'll say, and she sents my father. But my father doesn't help, my father just gives explanations of why he can't help me. I just nodd and excuse
him, 'cause I only want him to leave. Days ago I was so happy with my sister, now she's gone with her own mom, and I'm standing here, crying. Is this the way I'm going to be? Always depending on someone else? I want to be independent, I want to be happy with just myself. But it's hard, it is so fucking hard. I've been trying for so long. I just lock mysefl in my mind and in my room, I just focus on my own thoughts and leave out the rest. It seems so work from the outside, but in the inside it burns. Still, I'm doing it again, harder than being with my self, its to forget that I want someone with me, someone who listens, someone who cares... Not just someone who seems to care, but who actually does.
Dont turn again, please, this time stay and listen. That's what I want to tell to my father's back, to my mother's barrier. That's what I want to say to my friends that are just so busy with hearing themself talk in front of me, that wont even turn around. I hear the steps outside my bedroom. My parents are now going to play a game, they know I'm not asleep, they now I'm writing 'cause they are always complaining about the typing noise.
But how can they complain? If this is the only way I can talk out loud. How can they even ask how can I be so much time on this computer?My mom it's just laughing out loud, I don't know why.
How ironic.
I'm weeping while she is laughing, it's so rhythmical, that it seems to be planned this way.
Laugh while I cry, guess it'll be my turn to do it one day...