i'm the black sheep of my family.

okay, so this is probably going to turn into a rant, and by the end you'll probably hate my family. but, i love them no matter what.just a disclaimer

so, i'm excited about my new story (rules of a one night stand) and i told my family about it. i also added how i'm trying to challenge myself and how i wanted to try and be a mature writer. well, now i regret it. and i feel like i shouldn't tell my family anything. ever. again.

i understand where they're coming from with their comments like "you should write about what you know." and "your too young." and i hear them saying that. really, i do.

but they aren't listening to me. they never do. they don't hear me out on my side of the argument.

on top of that, we had our traditional egg dying at my grandpa's and we had dinner with my aunt and cousins. that's cool. i liked it and all, i was even the one who said we should do it when no one wanted to.

so i start joking around, like i normally am these days. but my jokes are very inappropriate. hey, i'm a teenager...

and, yeah, i'm getting laughs and i think what i'm saying is pretty funny.

but when i get in the car, i get yelled at by my mom. saying how i shouldn't say that stuff around my grandpa and have respect.

talk about a 180. she was laughing at my jokes moments ago.

and nowadays, all the words that come out of my mom's mouth are all shouts and "you're doing the wrong things".

she smothers me. i can't do anything on my own accord anymore. its all her rules.

so this is where my rebelion kicks in.

i feel like the more she smothers me, the more i'm going to lash out. i NEVER EVER would do drugs or underage drinking or anything of that nature. but she doesn't believe that i won't do that.

and my cousin, whom never talks and i don't have a good relationship with, thinks he's some big hot-shot who understands everything about the world. he dj's and yeah, that's pretty cool. but he also puts down my dream to be a music producer. saying stuff like "oh, you have to learn a whole lot." and basicly saying i'm either too stupid or not talented enough to do that i want to do.

so i guess what i'm trying to say is that i feel misunderstood by my family. the ones who are supposed to understand me the most. and no, i'm not trying to be emo or looking for sympathy. and yes, i know confusion comes with my age.

i'm just trying to vent!!