I cut myself...

"Can I tell you something? But you gotta promise that you wont tell anyone!"
"Of course!" I answered my friend. It was about 1:30 AM here in Mexico, and 3:30 in Ohio, were my friend lives. I love her so much, we were so close and happy when we were in eight grade, she lived in Mexico and we attempted to the same school. We had tons of personal jokes, and we were always laughing about the most stupid things that no one else seemed to understand. Sometimes I think she was one of the reasons why I didn't kill myself one year ago.
Yesterday we were talking, joking as always. She said she was going to confess something. I didn't worry, after all, she was the kind of girl who always joked around, the one who seemed to be never serious about anything. I thought she was going to tell me something completely fictional, like "I'm pregnant and I think its yours!" But when I read the three words written in my screen, I felt this whole in my heart, and big pain in my stomach.
"I cut myself." She typed.
"Really?" I typed without even thinking it, I had entered a trance or something.
How one happy, joker and so funny girl, could have this problem. I always thought I was the one who had this deep depressions, but all the sudden, she confessed to me.
How long? Why? Do your parents know? I asked all the stupid and normal questions a person would ask in a moment like this. I couldn't come with something clever, I knew that telling her: Don't do it, wouldn't help at all. So I just listened, I just listened without interrupting her. Then she told me:
"I didn't do it today, so I think I can stop."
"Of course you can!" I said, then I just told her to do things alone, things that would distract her. When you feel the pain, try doing something else.
"I write songs" She said, then she sent me two of them, which were great by the way.

Its ironic how people seek for pain to release some other pain. Its ironic how the pain of the heart, the one that no one can see, hurts more than the bleeding wound that everyone notices.
She hurts herself to stop feeling the pain... the real pain.
That night we said goodbye, then it took over one hour more for me to sleep.

I wish she was here, I wish she didn't leave to Ohio. But at the same time... I've been so stuck in my own problems, would I notice her problem if she was here? That question keeps jumping around my mind.
Any way... Am I in any position to give advice? I'm a messed up kid too, but I can't tell the truth like others do, I just keep it so myself...
Whoa, messed up kids seem to be ruling the world, lately...