My journey of love

Ok, this is my first journal so it could be a bit all over the place, etc. but i need to get this off my chest

before january i had been going out with a lovely girl for nearly 11 months. it was awesome, best time of my life. couldnt be happier. we shared so much together. then randomly one day she called me over, i was worried for her thought she must have had another arguement with her mum. i never expected it. then all of a sudden she broke into tears and told me she just wanted to be friends. i didnt know how to take it i broke out and had to leave. i struggled for weeks after my friends getting me through. it was tough she took me on a rollercoaster. only 3 days after breaking up she kissed me said she missed me. but im not tlking a simple peck. this was a passionate 5 minute kiss. i thought there was hope, but not to be.

she continued me on this rollercoaster, we remained friends but argued over little things it was so hard. we started to get close again about 3 weeks after breaking up, just hanging out at her house as friends. she had a sore stomach so i was rubbing it for her. then she pulled my head in and kissed me again... i didnt know what to do, and it kept going and going i thought this was it again. and the next day when i went to talk to her about it she said she didnt want to discuss it and to forget it. again i was shattered.

She again started to distance herself and i didnt know how to take it i lost it. a few weekends later i had one of our good friends come over to my house to hang out(she was also my ex) we just watched movies and hungout but then hormones got in the way and i was kissing her chest.... she didnt stop me. after a bit we snapped and stopped an realised it wasnt right to her girlfriend.

but the next day or two her GF had found the marks.... suddenly i was shoved in a corner with everyone against me, i felt so bad. and the next thing i know her gf has told my ex. she text me demanding what had happend saying she never thought i would be involved in anything like that and she was dissapointed... i was so angry at myself it wasnt me in any form, i was alone and well desperate i suppose you would say and i didnt know what to do or turn to...

one thing i forgot to say was a massive promise me and my ex made soon after breaking up, we promised each other to tell each other once we had decided to move on, etc to save hearing from other people. anyway we began to drift even further i didnt know what to do. the next thing i notice her and my friends ex started to get really close... now i knew she was Bi but i guess i never took it serious. i told her it was wrong despite what me and my friend did she couldnt do that to my friend(they were very close friends too) that it would destroy her. many arguements came out of it. and she text me to apologise and said she would never do it to our friend.a week later i found myself interagating her and my friends ex. and i managed to get out of them that they had been dating since two days after the promise she made. she had lied to my face about it inbetween and broken the promise she made when we broke up.

since this we havent spoken to much, i tried to sort it out but she started to claim i was destroying mine and her life by still liking her. however looking back on it all now im kinda glad all of this has happened. since all this i have found someone so perfect which i could not imagine. shes smart, pretty, funny, everything. ive found out that she too likes me and we've tlked. however she doesnt want a BF this year due to year 12, and i respect that, atm we are just taking things slow and i love it. there is nothing between us officially, but mentally we can both feel it. ive taken her to the movies and met her parents and it was wonderful. i cant wait to see how it all pans out(my "that special person" poem is based on her).

anyway thanks for reading :D