Escapism.

I've been having doubts about myself lately. About my life.

I think I've learned too much too fast. I wish I didn't know some of the things I know, and think some of the thoughts I think, see some of the things I see... but I can't help it. I'm like a piece of metal who is helpless against the magnetic force of all things bad. I guess I have some nice things going for me- but I have enough bad traits to balance it out. I'd like to thank the world today for being so goddamn terrible. Just when I was beginning to look on the bright side, and thought there was hope. But no, my pessimist ways have caught up with me again, and the light at the end of the tunnel has been put out.

Just because I have courage does NOT mean I'm stable. Escapism is in my blood, and it's unfortunately how I deal with problems. Everything I do is a way of escaping. No now, once again when things are getting tough, I'm going to do what I've always done.

Retreat to my room, to my corner, and try to relieve the pain. All it does is bring more, along with a tremendous amount of guilt. I know why I do it. But nobody wants to help. Nobody ever goddamn listens to anything I have to say, because I know they're not interested. I think I'm the only person on the planet that genuinely wants to listen to people's problems and thoughts. If anyone else does, then come talk to me and we'll start a nice little club.

Will anyone even read this?