So many emotions trapped inside my newly cold corpse and I'm going nuts..plz help me

I can't take it anymore
Im stressed
Im worried
Im tired
Im scared
Im anxious
and I have NO IDEA WHY!!!

I feel like I'm going to cry
every minute
of everyday

I think I may have OCD
and that scares me
cuz
I don't want to be put on meds that make me act differently
and...I dont want to tell anyone
they might put me away
what if its all in my head?

and this is making me crazy
I dont like being alone
cuz I start to think
and thats dangerous
I tend to over think things

I want to scream
I want to cry
I want to break things
I want to die!!

not really...I just chose that because it rhymed with cry
lol
ok not funny

I miss him
he wont talk to me
and i need him more than ever
why wont he talk to me?
I asked him and he told me he wasnt mad
i didnt do anything
he just doesnt want to talk to me
its been 4 fucking days
and in those 4 days I've been losing it

every other day I'll go to art with him
I love art class, we talk about things and get stuff off our chest...its our time
then we go to his locker
then i head of to french
he sulks to Math
then we meet up again in lunch
then he walks me to my locker
and on tuesdays and wedsdays we go to gym

but not this week
nope
he had PSSA's
so no more pressious art classes
he snapped at me...told me to shut the fuck up
and I did
until we walked and all of a sudden I was so scared i started to panic
I had to touch corners of anything square
and i did
in front of everyone

since that day he snapped at me
he hasnt talked to me at all
he ignores me
but still pays attention
he didnt talk to me in gym
but i could feel his eyes on me
He didnt talk to me in lunch
but he still laughed at my jokes

its so confusing
and i dont need this now
all i need is his shoulder
and a comfort hug
is that so much to ask for?