I need brain medicine

I think the time has come for a medication review because it's clear that what I'm on now isn't cutting the cake. I'm on a tiny amount of Mirtazapine (barely there) because I hate the carb cravings it gives me. On a higher dose, I eat like a horse and stack on tonnes of weight in the process. I need something different, so I'm up for assessment and the shrink can work out what I do need (if anything).

Depression is horrendous and I'm there in spirit with anyone who suffers from it. It's hell. I get to a point where I feel like everything is pointless and I can't keep my head up. I'm in a trough at the moment and it hurts like physical pain. Sometimes I actually do ache from it.

There are many people worse than I am, so I've got to keep things in perspective and to try to use the CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) I've been taught so far. I try to distract myself and to not "catastrophise" too much (their word!). It's hard. I'm tired and unmotivated.

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Glory days don't mean shit to me.
I drank a six pack of apathy.
Life's a bitch and so am I....