Smother me...

I don’t sleep anymore…
I have dreams.
Dreams where my dad’s angry at me.
Dreams where my bracelets cut off my circulation.
Dreams where I can’t hitch a ride.
Dreams where I’m bleeding and smiling.

I don’t know why or what anymore.
I know I should be okay.
I mean I take my medicine.
I eat my food.
I do my school.
What am I doing wrong?
Maybe it’s just me. I can’t stay normal for more than a few fucking days then I’m back to this emptiness…
I’m not sure if I’ll be able to even just go out and make it on my own.
I’m stable; I swear to god I’m stable.

What now?