A Big "F*ck You" to Humanity.

I've always been the "weird kid." In 6th and 7th grade, I actually made friends. That ended badly. I had to switch grade schools 3 times when I was younger, because the kids would make fun of me, and I had no friends. I would hiss at them too, when they were mean. They used to throw food at me too. Nice kids. But that's another story...

I was born to be a social outcast, it's my destiny!

Back on to subject, I wish I could meet someone like me. I know I'm weird, I'm strange. Everyone knows it, I tried to hide it by dressing normal and watching what I say, but my mouth gets the better of me. And who likes pretending to be someone they aren't? I used to think people didn't like me because I'm ugly. People tell me I'm pretty all the time, randomly, and that I just need some proper clothes (aka not all black/ boy shit) but that's who I am! My mind is out of tune. It works on different levels then other peoples. I'm not saying I'm smarter, I'm saying I'm different. And not just "unique" I mean, sometimes I ponder over my sanity.

Last year, after losing every.single.friend I've ever had (about time, eh?) I've just stopped caring. I'm being myself. I'm saying weird shit. I'm blunt, and I'm sarcastic. I tell people random facts when there's an awkward silence. I get some strange looks here and there, some whispers, even some chuckles. And even though I'm alone, I'm happy. I really, really am.

My biggest fear is when they all find out I'm -gasp- gay. Most people already dislike/ hate me (surprisingly, some people tell me I'm charming. I don't know why they think that, but I appreciate it nonetheless.) But imagine what will happen then? I don't know. Sometimes I'm so scared I could shit my pants. What if the mean words, turn to hits?