If Nothing Is Safe, Then I Don't Understand...

My life isn't the best right now. A lot of crap is going on again.

Yesterday, I went to my friend Emi's house. I started out in a really good mood, happy just to spend time with her. But when we were ready to go to the library together, she and her stepdad got in a fight. Then, after her stepdad left to go get something from the store and her mom said she would take us, she and her Mom got in a fight. She said she hated it here. Her Mom called her Selfish, and asked her, "Where are you gonna live? Your Dad's (in CT)? Sakura? Jess (her sister in rehab)? James (her bro)? The Street?" After that, Em started crying, and I was about to.

Tomorrow's also the deathaversary of Alfonso. It hurts to think about him still, cause I really wish i could have known him better.

All of my "cutter" friends have done it again, including the one I'm still head over heels for.

Does anyone know the Mat Kearney song "All I Need"? i'm listening to it now, and it's getting me into a very sorrowful mood.

i need to just crawl into a corner somewhere and break. I just have to let myself break sometime this week when my Mom is out or something. I can't keep holding all of this emotion in. it's not healthy.

But it's in my nature.

I need to go to a physical soon for my camp registration. I'm gonna ask my (new) doctor if he knows the symptoms of Depression, Addiction, Bipolar Disorder, and Borderline Personality.

Because with depression, my family history in addiction, and my temper problems, it could be any one of those. It scares me to think i might have a really serious disease that will need medication and therapy, but it'll be good to know. I need to know.

When I find out the verdict, I'll be sure to let you guys know.

My stomach really hurts. Goddamn puberty. Did God honestly want to torture woman? Why can't men have something like this so that they can understand not to piss us off during those twelve weeks of the year.

Sorry. Ranting off-topic.

I'm going to comic con in the city today. I'm going with my parents, my uncle, and his girlfriend. I'm going as a zombie. I have my costume on and everything. It's pretty exciting. ::yes:

Well, Love you all. Will keep you guys updated on anything big.

~Love, Sakura