My hero, my idol, my love, my way of life; Bert McCracken.

So a new tattoo has been added to my list, and that is 04.20.08 across my wrist. Today was my third time seeing The Used. If you don't know me, or haven't read my profile, this band means more then life to me. I would give anything for those boys.

Well, other then the concert being inFUCKINGcredible (barrier infront of Bert the whole time), what happened after is something I will never forget. They were doing a meet and greet. In order to get in, you had to buy a Shallow Believer download card for $10. You didn't have to ask me twice!

I was waiting in line with some friends, thinking about what I could say to him. Everytime I leaned over the barrier and saw him, my heart jumped and I couldn't help but let out a small screech. Quinn was first at the table, then Dan, then Bert, and then Jeph. I had already met Dan, Jeph, and Quinn, but never Bert. As we got to the front of the line, we were about two people away from Quinn, I stopped. I stopped moving. I stopped breathing. A friend of mine literally had to shove me to get me to breathe.

I don't remember asking Dan or Quinn to sign my shirt, but apparently they did. I don't remember talking to them, looking at them. All I remember is moving down the table and suddenly I was infront of the most influential person in my life. (PS-sorry this is gonna turn out like a story. I was to lazy to make it into one, but I wanted the dialogue kinda exact.)

"C-can you sign my shirt?" I stuttered handing him my t-shirt that said "I BERT The Used."

"Yeah," he took it and signed it. "We're gonna be late for our bus," he muttered to one of the other boys. "Look at all these fucking people." It was then I realized something new about him. Not new, but something I never really saw so prominent in him. He wanted to play music. He wanted to be in a band. That's all. He didn't want fans, and signings, and money, and fan girls. He just wanted to play. He wanted to get up on stage and perform, and if people wanted to listen, fine, but he would be perfectly content with playing to an empty room. He was overwhelmed with all the people, all the fans. He didn't like it. I wasn't quite sure how I felt about this.

"Can you sign the shirt I'm wearing?" I asked.

"No," he responded.

"Oh...then, can I have a hug?"

"No." I turned toward Jeph. I didn't know what to feel. My hero. Bert was my hero, and he was being an asshole.

I heard him laugh, and felt someone grab my arm. All of a sudden I was pulled aross a table with my face buried in Bert's shirt. I wrapped my arms around him and felt his hands on my back. My heart dropped as I felt him kiss my head. I always said I would cry when I met him, but I never thought I would. I didn't think he meant so much that just seeing him would make me tear. It did.

Tears started to fill my eyes and I muttered, "you're my hero," into his shirt.

"No I'm not," he said.

"Yes you are, you're my idol."

"Why?"

"Because. You don't care what others think about you. No matter what happens, you still can get up and just play, you don't care about anything." We were having this conversation as I was moving down the table, and he was signing other people's things.

"But you don't even know me."

"But you are," I told him.

"I can't be you hero," he told me. And thats when I started bawling. "I can't be your hero." But he was my hero! How could he not be? So here I am, pretty much hysterically crying, infront of a crowd of people. The only person I've ever really looked up to just told me I can't look up to him anymore.

I turned to walk out, and as I did, Bert leaned backwards in his chair and blew me a kiss. Sure. As if I wasn't crying enough.

"Bye," he smiled. I stood there stunned, just looking at him.

"Can I get a picture?" I asked softly.

"No," the security gaurd said.

"Go!" Bert smiled and yelled. I practically ran out in hysterics.

"Was he yelling at you?" a security gaurd asked.

"No, I just love him so much," I managed to get out between sobs.

I don't even know what to think of about this night...

I TURNED THIS INTO AN ACTUAL ONE SHOT. READ IT HERE.